Dear Tabby: I Don’t Trust My Friend’s Boyfriend

(Picture Credit: Getty Images)

(Picture Credit: Getty Images)

Dear Tabby,

My best friend offered to stay at my home and take care of my cat for free while I’m gone for the weekend. She and Misty get along great and I’d love to save the money and not have to deal with cat sitters or boarding houses. My friend’s boyfriend, though, is a little off. I can’t explain it, but I don’t trust him around my cat and I don’t want him there if I’m not going to be around (it’s a given that he would be there too). Am I crazy to turn down my best friend’s offer based on sheer speculation about the guy she’s dating? Should I accept the offer but include a “no boyfriend” clause in the deal? Ignore the voice in my head and just let them both stay?

Signed:

No Actual Knowledge or Evidence of Depravity but Harboring Ungrounded Nervousness Concerning House-sitter

Dear No Actual Knowledge or Evidence of Depravity but Harboring Ungrounded Nervousness Concerning House-sitter,

I don’t always advise this, but in your case, I’m not only going to say it, I’m going to put it in italics for emphasis: Listen to the voice in your head. If something is telling you your animal may not be safe around a particular person, take it seriously — every bit as seriously as if this were your child. Your instinct could very well be unfounded and way off base. But, N.A.K.E.D. H.U.N.C.H., what if it’s not?

As for dealing with your friend: Unless she’s fourteen, prohibiting her boyfriend from visiting her at your home could come across as a bit strange. Avoid the awkwardness of a “You’re invited, he’s not” conversation. Let her know how much you appreciate her offer but tell her that you just feel better paying someone to do something as important as looking after Misty. Then, quickly book a trusted cat sitter or reputable boarding facility.

If she’s your best friend, it’s not worth risking potentially alienating her to just to save a buck. And if she’s your best friend, she’ll respect — if not fully understand — your decision.