-
I have to run as fast as I can to a randomly selected other room.
-
Invisible positive pregnancy test.
-
Thermometer...goes where?!?!
-
If we had thumbs, we would be snapping.
-
It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
-
It took Ralph six minutes to realize the balloon wasn't going to come back.
-
Get off the table! You're not my real mom!!!
-
The awkward moment when you realize that the person you've been making fun of is right behind you...
-
Oh hey, I ran 'em thru the scratchy tongue cycle. That cool?
-
There is nothing quite so good as burial at sea. It is simple, tidy, and not very incriminating.
-
Can't wait for annual reports to come out. My curiosity is killing me.
-
Hilarious. Now let me back in.
-
I got stuck so I went to sleep.
-
Remember diet. Remember diet. Remember diet.
-
Do not leave me! I can change...
-
I may be schizophrenic...but at least I have each other.
-
What am I doing with my lives?
-
Don't sit on his lap now Carl, wait until he is wearing all black.
-
Your sole is mine!
-
I are Dunecat. I controls the spice, I controls the universe.
-
The cat traps are working.
-
Cow poop. Yes, I definitely stepped in cow poop. I hate nature.
-
Mike soon regretted the day he swallowed a magnet.
-
It's so shiny. I must murder it.
-
New from Ikea, Crazy Cat Lady organizer.
-
I love you lamp.
Shut up.
-
Say nothing. They'll blame the dog.
-
I need a new minion. Dis one is broken.
-
They suspect nothing.
-
For the love of God! Feed the damn cat.
-
Can spot a bird from across the yard... Can't find the piece of meat you dropped unless you point it out 10 times.
-
Food limit reached. Start sleep cycle.
-
Like a boss.
-
They steal his poop too? This is becoming an epidemic.
-
If I just keep looking cute. They'll surely blame the dog.
-
I can has prom date?
-
Behold! I found my mittens!
-
Don't do it Carl! You're on your 9th life!
-
Evry dayz, 3 o clockz. Mebe one day I sez meow to her.
-
Pull cord to begin apocalypse.
-
And that's how the catdog was made.
-
Lieutenant Dan! You got the new legs!
-
Man's best friend... my worst enemy.
-
Why don't you have a seat and explain where my Testicles went.
-
One Direction
-
That paranoid feeling you get when someone behind you laughs really loudly...
-
I don't always do stupid mistakes, but when I do, I act like it never happened and lick myself.
-
1 ring to rule them all!
-
They told me to go back to healthcare.gov!
-
I don't always chew on plastic bags but when I do, I make sure the bag is in your bedroom and you are sleeping
It's heartbreaking to think about why a mama might abandon her babies. The reasons are many and include a lack…
