Do you ever look over at your cat and suspect they’re having megalomaniacal thoughts? Well, be wary around November 22nd, as that’s Start Your Own Country Day.
In honor of the holiday, here’s a constitutional roll call of five ways cats would rule their very own country.
1. Mandatory Nap Times
It’s common knowledge that cats are content to sleep for the majority of the day, but under feline rule, there would be mandatory nap times every hour, on the hour. No excuses, no rebellious staying awake.
2. The Right To Treats On Tap
You know those timed cat food dispensers that are designed to help your cat lose weight? Well, in a cat country, humans would have to replace them with treat dispensers offering up unlimited treats at the tap of a paw.
Ensuring that no feline goes without regular snacks, strutting within four feet of a treat dispenser would also signal it to play the noise of a shaking bag of treats.
3. Cardboard Architecture
In a cat world, all furniture would be made of cardboard–no exceptions. Furthermore, it would be down to the lowly humans to replace frayed or destroyed cardboard with new structures every week.
4. Plush Carpeted Flooring
Humans might be all about slick hardwood floors these days, but in a world where cats rule, plush, deep pile carpeting would cover every single square foot of flooring. In fact, it’s really the only civilized way to sashay around between naps and snacks.
5. Roomba Transportation
Actually, why walk when you can Roomba? Yep, in a world with feline overlords, Roombas would be plentiful and called into service as leisurely ways for cats to move around. Dignity, thy name is commute by Roomba, even in a shark outfit.
Now that we’ve started a cat’s constitution, let us know any additional rules and requirements in the comments below!