"I watched a mouse eat my food and did nothing."

"I pissed on my mum's UGG BOOT! * BAD KITTY *

"I licked my butt — and then licked my mom's popcorn when I thought she wasn't looking."

"I eat Dog Food and I don't care who is looking!"

"I punch this cat in the face until she lets me eat her dinner even after I've already been fed."

"I poop in the bathtub, used a brand new bag of dog food as a scratching post, and peed in the laundry.

"I attack little kids!"

"I steal everyone's socks while they are sleeping, and put them in my litter box!"

"I pee on Daddy's clothes & eat whole rolls of toilet paper."

"I am a muffin stealing whore."